"The Official Destroyer of Tengen Tetris"

If you're a hardcore NES collector like many other fellow gamers in the industry, then you probably know about Tengen Tetris. If you don't, then you probably were stuffed in a closet for the past three years of your life. But, in case you didn't know, Tengen Tetris is a super rare unlicensed game that has its own little history. Way back in the day, a company that produced many unlicensed games was called Tengen. Besides most of their games being rare and produced in small amounts, most Tengen games kicked ass. They usually had features like co-operative modes, extras, and much more. Now you'd probably think that this was great for the NES era, but it wasn't for Nintendo. Most of their games were making a better profit than officially licensed Nintendo games. And then when Tengen Tetris came out, Nintendo saw the perfect time to strike the core of a poor little unlicensed soul.

In 1989, Tengen released their version of Tetris. At the time, Nintendo held the official license from the Russian creator. Tengen also held a license from Mirrorsoft, however, Mirrorsoft's license was only elidgible in Europe. So what did this mean? This meant that Tengen had released a game illegally in the US, and thus, Nintendo sought compensational damages. So to make a long story short, Tengen was pretty much done for.

After Nintendo hired its big name lawyers, they ended up winning the case. Now there was only one solution to their problem. The judge of the case decided to destroy all the Tengen cartridges on the current market. So, thus all the Tengen cartridges were either burned, smashed, blown to pieces, punched, kicked, karate tossed, carefully dismantled, or transported to the next dimension. Now obviously, we may never know who the actual destroyer of these Tengen Tetrises is, but we are going to allow you to decide. Look at the list of suspects below and then fill out the form as to who you think the official destroyer of Tengen Tetrises is. I'll post the results next week.

Possible Destroyers

Agent Smith	Mr. T	Jimbo the Hick	R. Lee Ermey	Teletubbies
Classification: Highly-paid professional	Classification: Assured, painful approach	Classification: Cheap alternative	Classification: Strict appropriater	Classification: Purely evilness
Preferred Method: Two bullets to the cartridge connectors	Preferred Method: A gold-ring bashing with the fist	Preferred Method: Burning the cartridge with a beercan lantern	Preferred Method: Boot stomp to give it a down and dirty taste	Preferred Method: Showing the cartridge the evil horrors of insanity
Relations: Former bodyguard of Shigeru Myamoto and Sniper for the IRS	Relations: Starred in commercials advertising Rocky and Big Momma's Spaghettios	Relations: Cleans the sinks, pipes, and toilet rims of Nintendo bathrooms	Relations: Former Nintendo hotline master for war games and motivator for programmers	Relations: Former endorsees of Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh
Quote: "Nothing gets in my way, nothing."	Quote: "I pity the foo that don't like Nintendo!"	Quote: "We come here to get us some dang chickens and watch some of that fooz ball."	Quote: "You maggot-loving, dirt rubbing, rudy pudy, yellow-tatered, piece of shit - get your ass on the ground! NOW!!!"	Quote: "Sing along! We love patty cakes, we love patty cakes, we love patty cakes! WOO!"

Results:
Agent Smith - (0 votes) - 0%
Mr. T - (3 votes) - 17%
Jimbo the Hick (6 votes) - 33%
R. Lee Ermey (4 votes) - 22%
Teletubbies (5 votes) - 28%

Official Destroyer: Jimbo the Hick

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